The Past, Present, and Future
by alwayslostinadream
Summary: Bella moves to Los Angeles to help think about her dead end relationship with Jacob. She stays with her best friend, Alice, to get an idea of what she wants in life. What happens when Alice's brother Edward tries to convince her it's him that she needs?


**Hey guys! So I started a new account and wanted a fresh start. Hope you enjoy it! Please R&R, it helps me upload a LOT faster…**

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I ran down the apartment stairs and into my rusty red pickup truck, tears streaming down my face. I started the truck and listened to the old and faithful engine cough to life, happy that my crying was being drowned down by the car. My phone vibrated and I pulled it out of my pocket.

_One new message: Jacob Black._

I popped open my flip phone and read the message.

"_I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."_

I snapped the phone shut and tossed it into the passenger seat and continued to drive wherever the road would take me. I watched the green forest pass by my sides for what felt like hours as my head was swarming with thoughts. I love him don't I? He's…my life, my soul. Then why couldn't I give him what he wanted? What _we _wanted?

I pulled my truck over to the side of the road and let my sobs overtake my body. I laid my head on the warm steering wheel and let my emotions break down every last barrier I had, until I could breathe no longer. I sat up straight as I gaped for air, staring at the ongoing and secluded road that stretched on for what felt like forever. I couldn't even get out of this damn forest, the green trees now becoming a sickening and overpowering color. Forks may have been my home at some point, but I knew everything around me was changing. So why wasn't I doing the same?

I turned the truck around and headed back where I came from. _Home. _I repeated the word to myself but no matter how many times I said it, it didn't feel right. After aimlessly driving for three hours to clear my head, I arrived back to the apartment. _Our_ apartment. I climbed up the flights of stairs as Jacob's voice echoed in my head.

"_Why can't you just take the elevator like the rest of us?"_

Those words were exactly why. It felt good not do what he told me. It was a simple and somewhat lame way of showing it, but made me hopeful and independent.

I reached our apartment door and just stared at it. Our house should feel warm and inviting…but somehow it made me feel alone and uneasy. I examined the disgusting yellow color of the door that didn't match any of our carpet or furniture. I always hated it but Jake wouldn't let me paint over it. I let out a stream of air I hadn't realized I was holding in, placed my key inside of the door, and let myself in.

I walked through the door and tossed my keys on the kitchen counter. After hearing the sound of the door opening, Jacob ran out of the bedroom and pulled me into his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't mean any of that. I will wait for however long you need before you are ready, no matter what. I promise I won't push the idea on you ever again. I love you." He rushed out the words so fast I wasn't sure I caught them all.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and let myself fall into his embrace, soaking up his warmth. I repeated his words in my head over and over until my voice was strong enough to let out a response.

"I'm sorry, but you might have to wait longer than you think. I'm not quite sure…what I want. I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes and held back tears, knowing my words would hurt him. He tensed immediately and let his arms fall back to his sides, now focusing directly into my eyes. I saw how much it pained him to agree, but I know he was doing it for my sake. However, I knew better. I may not know how to run my life, or how to decide what I want to do, but I knew that this topic hit him home. It was his dream to get married, to have kids, and to grow old together, but I just didn't want that. Not now. Maybe...just not with him?

He clenched his teeth and gave me a forced smile before heading back into the bedroom. I sighed and went in after him while planning on calling Alice, my best friend, the next day. After I got dressed, I jumped into bed and noticed Jacob was facing away from me and at the farthest corner of the bed possible. I crawled into the cold and much too small bed and stared at the ceiling, when I heard a low whisper.

"I love you, Bella."

I wouldn't have heard it if I wasn't paying attention. I wasn't sure how to respond; I knew what to say, but the words remained stuck in my throat. I pretended I hadn't heard him, and rolled over, my back facing his.

_Here we go again._

I awoke the next morning, bright and early. I rose out of bed very slowly so I wouldn't wake Jake. As I waited for my morning coffee, I dressed myself in my blue camisole and grey dress pants.

_Another day in the office. _

I grabbed my coffee mug and head out the door to my truck. I sat myself down and began to drive, immediately letting my fingers dial a number I had memorized by heart into my phone. After three rings, I heard her pixie voice and immediately felt my body relax.

"Hey Bella! It's been so long since I've talked to you! What's up?" squealed Alice, my best friend I met during our first year of college. She was majoring in fashion and I in journalism. She was lucky enough to switch universities after Forks became too small for her and I stayed behind because of Jake and the auto repair shop he had started, but we stayed in touch ever since.

I chuckled. "Alice, it's been two days since I've talked to you!"

"Alright, fine…" she giggled. "How's life? How's Forks? How's Jake?" Her questions were lightening fast, and I knew she was most eager to hear the last one.

"Jake's…Jake. He popped the question again last night." I pulled the phone away from my ear because I knew she was going to start screaming like she always does. I was surprised when it didn't come. "Alice? Are you there?"

She sighed. "Yeah, Bells. I don't know…this is just breaking my heart. So he really wants to settle down, huh?"

"Yeah, more than you can imagine. He showed me the ring last night and when I told him I wasn't ready, he was frustrated. I guess it was mainly my fault, being as stubborn as I am, but I just can't do it Alice. Each time it hurts me more and more to see the pain in his eyes when I tell him I can't do it." I felt the tears swelling in my eyes again but I quickly pushed them back. "I want to give him what he wants, but I just can't."

I could tell through her voice that she felt my pain as well. "Bella, I know how you feel. Before this gets out of control, I think you guys need to take a break from each other. I know he's a great guy and that you love him, but maybe some time to think is what you guys really need."

_If I love him_, I corrected her in my head.

"That's a great idea Alice, but just think about it. I live with him- I can't just tell him I need a break and not have somewhere to go! "I argued.

"Oh Bella, you could come here to Los Angeles with me! I know they are very generous with transfers; they easily let my brother in after he switched from his school in Alaska. Plus, you could finally get out of Forks! What do you say?" I could practically see her face giving me her infamous pout, begging for me to oblige.

I hesitated for a couple of seconds and let my mind wander. It's a fresh start… a new beginning. I can think about Jacob's _numerous_ offers and have some time to myself. What could go wrong?

"Alright Alice, I'll do it!" I sighed into the phone as I pulled it away from my ear, ready for her scream.

"Thank you so much, Bella! This is going to be so much fun! I promise you won't be disappointed!" Her piercing voice screamed into the phone. "Just think about all of the shopping we can do and the places we can go and the boys we can meet!"

"Woah Alice, hold on! You know I hate shopping! And I'm going there so I can find a way to still be with Jacob, not ditch him!"

She cleared her throat and calmed herself down. "Yes, you're right. I'm sorry, let's do whatever you would like."

I shook my head at her; there was no way Alice was letting me off this easy! "Alice, I can see right through you. You're planning something aren't you, you little devil?"

"Maybe…" She sang. "Anyways, I'll go get the paperwork handed in today to request your transfer, but it shouldn't be too hard after I talk to the dean myself." She had her ways and it was best to leave them be. "Bella, I'm so excited! I can't wait for you to finally meet my family and my new friends!"

All I could do was laugh at how excited she was. "Alright, Alice. I'll try to talk to Jake about it tonight and I'll tell you how it goes." My heart immediately dropped when I realized he would be crushed- again.

I hung up the phone as I pulled into my workplace. At twenty-two I worked for the local newspaper, writing small editorials and obituaries. It was a dead end job for being a small town and I knew Los Angeles was the end to all of that. I walked out of the truck and through the office doors, working a solid four hours before leaving and sitting in on my afternoon writing class. After a tiring day I returned back home, ready to break the news to Jacob.

_Home._

The misplaced word echoed in my head again; I shook the thought out of my head, walked up the stairs, and entered the apartment. The lights were dimmed and the room was light by candlelight. I saw Jake sitting at the dining room table waiting for me. The room living room was covered in rose petals and candles and on the table waited my favorite: stuffed mushroom ravioli. Jake's romantic gesture warmed up my heart; _this_ was the Jake I fell in love with years ago. Did I still have that same love for him or was it slowly fading?

He stood up from the table and looked deep into my eyes. "You're home." It was more of a question than a statement and I could tell there was a much deeper meaning behind it. He walked toward me and took my hand, leading me towards the table.

"Jake, this is amazing! Did you do all of this?" I asked him, not believing my eyes.

He had me sit down in my designated spot and shrugged his wide shoulders. "Yeah, but it's no big deal. I just wanted to see you happy." He replied. My heart swelled at his comment and immediately blushed.

_I wouldn't mind living like this for the rest of my life._

I glanced back into his dark brown eyes and leaned into him for a kiss. My lips met his warm ones as I gave him as passionate as a kiss as I could muster. It was…nice. Nothing more, though.

We silently ate our dinner for the next thirty minutes before he cut the silence by clearing his throat. Jake nervously wrung his hands and heaved in a breath. I could tell he had something to tell me, but I ignored it.

"How was your day, Bells?" He asked.

"It was a pretty tiring day overall but I finally got to talk to Alice again." I answered. I watched him cringe out of the corner of my eye. He never quite liked Alice and always made it obvious. I waited until he had calmed down before I started again. "She wants me to move to Los Angeles with her for a while."

That was it. I knew this was Jake's breaking point and for some reason I enjoyed being the one pushing him to the edge.

He turned his head towards me, a look of astonishment on his face. "What did you just say?"

"Alice… wants me to move to Los Angeles with her but-" Jake instantly flew up from his seat and cut me off.

"Bella, what do you mean? You know I just opened the repair shop; I haven't paid off all of my loans yet and this just isn't a good time for us!" He yelled at me. I knew his anger would get the best of him and would only get worse from here.

"Yes, Jake, I know that! Just listen to me!" I yelled back at him. My frustration was piling up but he just wasn't getting it. He threw himself back into the chair and crossed his arms, avoiding any eye contact. "What I'm trying to say is… Alice wants me to move there for a while. Not us…just me." I waited for the words to sink in and I immediately regretted saying everything.

He finally looked back up at me and I saw the tears pooling in his eyes. "How long?" His voice was weaker than his eyes.

"I don't know." I slumped back down in the chair and crossed my arms.

He was lost in his thoughts and I was starting to get worried before he broke the silence yet again.

"But what about…us? Our relationship? Our life together? Why would you want this?" He frantically rushed the words out before his voice faltered.

"Jake... I just need a break from this relationship. Some time to clear my head and think about what I really want!" I replied.

He scoffed and shook his head. "I think you meant to say if you really want me."

I was shocked; what was I supposed to say to that? At this point I couldn't hold myself any longer and let the tears stream down my face. "I'm so sorry, Jake" I whispered.

He stood and fixed his shirt, towering over my body. "Yeah, aren't we all." He turned around and started to walk out the door before he turned around again. "Just don't ever forget that I love you." With those words and a weak smile, he was gone.

I wiped the tears that were violently streaming down my face and slowly walked around the empty apartment. After I cleaned up the rose petals and put out all of the candles, I threw myself down onto the tattered old couch. I started dialing Alice's number, desperate to hear her voice.

"Bella! How did it go?" She answered after just one ring.

My words were lined with uncertainty as I tried to explain to her exactly what happened, even though I wasn't even quite sure since it all happened so fast.

"So all in all…he took it horribly. But is it so selfish for me to want to do this for _me?_" I asked her.

"No, Bella, of course not! A healthy relationship should consist of a balance between the two people. It can't always be what Jake wants or what you want. Sometimes you just need to do something for yourself!"

How is it that she's always so right?

I smiled as I brought up what she was looking forward to the most. "So Alice, how soon do you want me to come?" I giggled.

She screamed into the receiver. "Oh, Bella I knew you would do it! I talked with the dean today and I already have your new schedule!"

"How did you get it so fast?" I was shocked; usually transfers take around a month.

"I'll explain later!" She giggled and I knew there would some shocking explanation behind this.

"I'll start looking at plane tickets right away then!" I could barely contain my excitement – I was going to Los Angeles!

"Taken care of! Your flight leaves tomorrow morning at 8:00 sharp. Be there early for check in!" She chimed in.

"Alice, why did you do that? I'm paying you back as soon as I get there!" I moaned. I didn't have the money for repaying her; I was barely getting by from the paychecks from the newspaper. I was planning on taking the train anyway, even though it would have taken a lot longer.

"No you're not! This is my gift to you; you know my family can afford it!" It was true. Carlisle Cullen, Alice's father, was the chief surgeon at a hospital in Seattle. They were extremely wealthy and from what Alice told me, their home was spectacular. She never tried to flaunt it though, even though it didn't work out to my advantage when she took me on shopping sprees.

I moaned but felt relieved at the same time. "Thank you, Alice. This really means a lot to me."

"Of course, Bella! Now go do some packing! I won't be able to pick you up from the airport tomorrow, but I'll be sure to send someone." She added.

I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed since I was hoping to see her after all. "Oh…ok. I'll see you tomorrow though right?" I could tell she heard my voice drop.

"Bella, don't worry. I'm certain you will like my replacement very much." She laughed. What was she planning? "And yes, you will see me. My afternoon fashion design class ends about half an hour after you land so I will for sure meet you at my apartment." Her hyper voice rang like little bells and I couldn't help but feel better at her optimism.

"Sounds good! Just one question, though…How long am I staying?" I was afraid she would say a couple of days.

"Well, I transferred you over for the rest of the school year… Since it's October, I'm thinking a while?" She laughed whole heartedly. "Don't worry, we'll treat you well here, I promise! If you make you decision to go back to Forks at anytime, you're welcome to."

That was around a year, which should be more than enough to think about my relationship with Jake. Would he still want me after I came back from Los Angeles? Would he already have found someone else? Would _I_ find someone else?

"Wait, what do you mean by _we_, exactly?" Did she have a maid she wasn't telling me about?

"My brothers and I, of course! We all live in Los Angeles together and Edward and Emmett are ecstatic about meeting you." I could practically hear her smiling.

"Alright Alice, but I really should get packing now. I'm really glad I come so soon, I haven't been able to get Jake's proposal out of my head and it will help to talk it out in person." I subconsciously rubbed circles on my knee, something I seemed to do quite often. Even though it wasn't that big of a deal, it always got on Jake's nerves so I stopped immediately.

"I'll see you tomorrow at then!" She squealed, unable to contain her excitement.

After her little outburst, I heard a deep voice in the background that I did not recognize. "Alice, I understand that you're excited, but can you stop hitting me every two seconds?" Pleaded the man's voice.

She pulled the receiver away from her mouth and heard her apologize to the man, whose name I did not catch.

"Alice, who was that?" I asked her in a girly tone.

"I'll explain later!" She giggled. "See you tomorrow Bells!"

"Bye Alice! Thanks so much for letting me come over!"

After saying our last words, we both hung up. I called my mom, Renee, and also let her know about my switch to Los Angeles. I left out the bump in my relationship with Jake, however; I wasn't in the mood to be interrogated. She was just as excited as Alice was; I would be closer to her and my father in Arizona. I also called my boss to let him know I would no longer be able to work for the newspaper anymore and he seemed fine by it. Since Forks was a small town, there usually wasn't very many obituaries needed to written. He wished me the best of luck in life and mailed my final paycheck.

_I'm going to need both._

I pulled myself off of the warm couch and pulled my suitcase out from under my bed. It was small, but it was all I had. I threw in my basic essentials and a couple of my favorite shirts, shorts, sweaters and jeans. Everything was extremely plain, just like me with my brown hair and eyes. Alice wouldn't be too happy with my boring wardrobe, but I could handle myself.

I put my favorite book Wuthering Heights inside of my purse so I would have something to read on the plane. I also pulled all of the money I had been saving out from under our bed frame and put everything together in front of the door. After cleaning up the apartment and making sure I had packed everything, I threw myself onto the couch and waited for Jacob to come home.

I felt so guilty for leaving him behind. He loves me and I think I love him back, so why is this so complicated? The main thing that bothered me about our relationship was that I never thought about him. The only times he popped into my mind were when somebody asked about him; I never called to see how he was doing or never even thought about how his day has been. Isn't that what a girlfriend's were supposed to do? Love their boyfriends? Cherish their lives together? I never had any of that and maybe that made me the bad guy.

Right on cue, he walked through the door. I jumped up from where I had been lying down on the sofa and approached him. I could immediately tell he had been crying because his eyes were red and puffy, which instantly made me feel even worse. He noticed the luggage on the floor next to the door and just stared at it before looking back into my eyes.

"You're really leaving, aren't you?" It was barely a question; the way he said it sounded like a fact.

"Yes, Jacob. And I'm sorry because I know it's hurting you but I promise this is going to help me. Help _us. _I'm not ready to commit yet, but I know I will be."

_I lied to him again._

I put my arms around him but all it did was make the situation worse, so I immediately pulled away. I brushed my palms on the seams of my pants and cleared my throat trying to break the silence. I tried to think of something new to bring up, but he beat me to it.

"Bella? Do you think you could do me a favor?" His voice was weak and defeated. How could I deny him of anything when he was like that?

"Yes, Jake. Anything."

He pulled a velvet box out of his pocket and rubbed the lid with his thumb. "Now, I know what this looks like but don't worry, it's only a promise ring. I'm not asking you to be fully committed to me while we are…taking a break from each other." He choked the last six words out. "But I just want you to promise me that I will be on your mind at some point. I need you to promise me that you _will_ think about marrying me, even if you say no. And last, it wouldn't be horrible if you called me once in a while because I know I will be calling you." He laughed, but it didn't meet his eyes. "Do you think you can do this for me Bells?"

At this point I was about to cry. I couldn't deny him of anything after how supportive he had been of us taking a break for a while. "Yes, Jake. I will." I whimpered.

He pulled the ring out of its box and I was shocked. The ring had a diamond on it and was the most beautiful piece of jewelry I had ever seen.

"It was my Grandmother's engagement ring but I sought another purpose to it." He stated. "She gave it to me before she died and told me to only give it to someone I truly cared for." He looked back into my eyes and gave a weak smile.

He began to place it on my ring finger, but it was too loose. He furrowed his eyebrows in frustration and stared at my hand as if he was trying to figure out a way to make it fit, but I knew it was hopeless.

"Here, I'll just wear it on this finger." I smiled at him. It looked a bit odd on my index finger but I kept it on to please him.

He scratched his head, truly frustrated. "Maybe we can get it tightened or something? I could have sworn it would have fit…"

I gave him a peck on the lips to reassure him. "It's fine, Jake. I don't want to change something that was your grandmothers."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his embrace.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Bella." He whispered.

"I'm going to miss you too, Jake." I wasn't sure if I meant it the same way he did.

We walked into the bedroom together and prepared for bed. I gave him the details on everything from when my flight was leaving all the way to my talk with Renee. I lied and said Renee was sad that I was leaving, however, because I thought he would feel like he had lost that battle as well. We silently went to sleep, again at the ends of the bed with what felt like miles between us.

I awoke the next morning to my phones alarm. I looked to my left and noticed that Jake was gone before I remembered he had to leave for work early today. After getting ready, I walked to the taxi I had called for and simply left, never looking back, never saying goodbye. I opened my purse to pay the driver and found a note from Jacob with three simple words that meant little to me and broke my heart every time I heard them.

_I love you._

I hid the note deep inside of my wallet and ran to catch my plane.

The flight didn't seem too long since I spent my time reading Wuthering Heights. I had that book memorized inside and out but I could still never put it down. There was something about that book that made me comfortable in a way, a feeling I couldn't explain to Jake when he asked me what was so great about it.

I walked out of the gates and to baggage claim when I remembered what Alice had told me yesterday.

_Who was she sending to come get me? _

After wandering around the conveyer belt aimlessly, I realized my bag had been lost. How would it be lost on such a short flight? After giving the airline Alice's address and telephone number, I walked out of the sliding glass doors into LAX airport. It was much nicer than the one up in Seattle and seemed a bit more confusing.

_How in the world would I find the person in a place like this?_

I walked down the hall of crowded people searching for a sign with my name on it. Then one of them caught my eye; it was a bent piece of cardboard but on it was the most elegant handwriting I had ever seen.

_Bella Swan_, it read. Who knew my name could be so formal?

I walked towards the man and realized he was the most handsome person I had ever seen. His copper hair was sticking out in every direction, but he pulled the look off anyway. His eyes were a dazzling shade of topaz that I couldn't risk looking into. He was tall and it was obvious that he was muscular through his form fitting white t-shirt. He noticed me staring and I immediately stopped myself from gawking and walked up to him.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan…" I stated, unsure that this man was looking for me.

He simply just stared at me up and down, shocked that I wasn't some sort of alien.

"Hello, there. I'm Edward Cullen, Alice's sister…" He seemed unsure of his words too and I wondered why. "Should we get going?" He asked with a wink.

I blushed a deep shade of crimson and looked away so he wouldn't notice. I politely nodded as we walked toward his car.

_I should have known Alice was up to something…_

**WOO! I'm not sure all of the chapters will be this long, but we'll see. Please review!**


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